i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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