i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
