i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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