Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
