how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I am midnight drunk by noon
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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