he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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