We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
