their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
operation have a gay friend backfired
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize