Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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