My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
