so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
