did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
