If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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