this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize