I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
