I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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