You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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