and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
