I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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