you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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