Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Are my feet made of real feet?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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