I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
