Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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