And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
