bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
