is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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