I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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