So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
