It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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