Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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