you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize