Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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