So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
