Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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