He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
