so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
