This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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