well I can't set my house on fire every night
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
