i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
