We're facebook friends in real life
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Ambien. No doubt about it.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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