my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
