Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize