I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
