just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
