i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Randomize
