Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize