I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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