you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
