i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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