my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
