Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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