I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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