I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
