I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
