Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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