i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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