even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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