oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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