Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
