She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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