Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
