what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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