I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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